Swimming Out Of The Muck

If you trolled around the interwebz at all this week, you know that many of us creative types had a rough week. Maybe it was something in the air. Maybe we experienced a collective groan as the daily grind inhibited our creative spirits. Maybe we were just stuck.

If you didn't experience that feeling this week, you likely have had a time in your life when you did - when your creative energy was all but gone.

This was my reality over the last week. It started on Saturday. I was having a party at my house, celebrating my BILs birthday. There was no reason that I could understand for slipping into a funk. But sure enough, by the middle of the day I was overwhelmed, over-peopled, and running on empty. I tried hiding myself a way (thank goodness my family understands my introversion), disappearing for a while. But, it didn't work. The feeling of being "off" lasted throughout the weekend.

The work week started, the routine set in, and still nothing could move me from the angst that was consuming my creative self. I tried relaxing, meditating, ignoring - all with no relief. The angst continued, permeating into my creative world and inhibiting my art at a time when I needed it most - during a deadline.

Not good. not good at all.

Last night, with my back against the wall to complete final edits by Monday, I forced myself into the chair and committed to pounding out two new scenes. It was torturous. At least at first.

An hour in, exhausted and defeated, I acquiesced to my feelings and made a conscious decision to just let go - let go of the trying to figure out WHY I was feeling whatever I was feeling, let go of the worry that I had "hurt" someone's feelings, done something wrong, been "less" somehow. I opened my heart, focused on the words on the page (only the words on the page), and jumped off the cliff. I confessed my feelings to a dear friend and chose to move on.

An hour passed, 2k in new words were written, new epiphanies about the revisions were made and poof...the funk had lifted. I had finally released whatever it was that consumed me for the week.

And what did I learn from this little adventure through the writing swamp? I was reminded that pushing forward, opening your heart, and trusting your gut is the only way through the creative muck that we sometimes find ourselves in.

I posted this on my Facebook page last night: "There is a certain magic to taking action on a thing, pushing forward with an open mind, and trusting that you will find your way." It is something I have sense written on my desktop so I can remember it, the next time I find myself knee-deep in my own random angst.

How do you get out of the muck?


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