Friday, June 15, 2012

Never Surrender - Finding the Space Between The Words

I am thrilled to be part of Elana Johnson's NEVER SURRENDER blogfest happening this week. In addition to being one of my best friends, Elana is one of the most generous writers I know - and being able to support her after all she's done for the writing community is truly a joy!

Now, on to my entry. Elana asked us to talk about a time when we refused to give up - a time when surrender was NOT an option.

Hmm....

Immediately I thought of several things I could write about - the time I got stuck on a mountain plateau - literally - and HAD to face my fears and figure out a way off the mountain, or remain lost. Or maybe the time that I continued on a retreat, even though ALL of my friends bailed out, leaving me completely out of my comfort zone. Or pursuing my fiction career, despite shelving novels, getting rejections by the hundreds, and giving up more often than I'd care to admit.

But, after yesterday... I have a new subject for this post.

Yesterday...

You know those moments in life when you are overwhelmed. Not a little overwhelmed - but your chest is heavy from the weight of things bearing down on you and the room is closing in, stealing the air from you lungs overwhelmed???

That was yesterday. Work was too intense. The kids took intense to a whole new level. And you all remember the computer incident (which is costing a small fortune to fix)...
yes, I was overwhelmed.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide from the world. I wanted to eat M&Ms and curl up with a book or a movie. I wanted to make the heaviness in my chest dissipate just a little. I wanted room to breathe.

These are the things I wanted.

But they are not the things I needed. Not even close.

I have deadlines pounding down on me. I have stress flowing from every pore. I needed a release. Something big.

I needed to write.

But man, to say that was the last thing I wanted to do is likely an understatement. Still, I know myself well enough to know that I need to pay attention to that wee small voice inside that tells me what I need.

So, after much resistance, I opened up the borrowed laptop, figured out the codes, passwords, etc to be able to access everything I needed to access, and opened a file or two. And I took a breath. Several breaths.

Within moments, I felt it - the space between the words. That moment of peace suspended between all of the things I needed to do, all of the words I needed to write. A precious pause in life itself.
It was in this space that I lingered, breathing in the silence and creating my own sacred spaces inside.
And slowly, I heard the words that needed to be written. And I saw the scenes begging to find a voice.
I pushed forward, finishing the blogging and editing I needed to do.
And I found what I needed...
and let it lead me to what I wanted.

I found peace.

9 comments:

  1. It's so hard to balance things and make sure that you are taken care of, as well. Great job, Christine! Creating a place for yourself to release is something that not many people can do. You've inspired me to find that place. Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes life can be forever overwhelming and finding those moments to find peace are the utmost of importance otherwise we will be forever lost under the weight of the world. I love that you were able to find your peace and surrender to it...I know I do that when I read! I feel liberated and free. Thank you for helping us find our peace in your words :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautifully written and described. That space between the lines is such a perfect phrase for what it is. So glad you listened to that inner voice! Hope you have more sunshine in the days to come :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Can so relate to life being overwhelming. Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, writing can be a peaceful place in all that stress.

    I'm posting my never surrender post today too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good for you. It takes a lot not to give up in those moments. I've been struggle lately, too. Life is always so busy as the school year wraps up, finding time to write and write well can be brutal.

    Here's to you staying with it!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, I'd say surrendering to M&M's not a bad thing lol!!

    But, you didn't surrender to the pressure of doing all the other things. You listened and found the peace you needed. Sometimes, it's best to Not Surrender to loudest wheel, but to attend to the squeaky one that, once addressed, sends waves of comfort in its wake.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Finding peace and solace doing what we love....how cool is that?! Good for you!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I would like to be you! What a great post, because it's so true. Sometimes I allow myself to get too overwhelmed with things, when really I just need to take a deep breath and find the spaces between the words. Thanks, C!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm right there with yah hon. That is indeed a perfect moment of no surrender. You've inspired me. I'm opening up my file and diving into it right now. :)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your input!