Monday, September 5, 2011

Campaigner challenge - The Door


Happy Monday everyone (and Labor day for my US friends). Today I am participating in my first ever Campaigner challenge (and the first one for this particular campaign). Here's the scoop from Rachel Harrie's blog:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

Yikes! Flash Fiction? Short Stories? Definitely not my strong suit. I'm more of a novel kind of girl. But, never one to back away from a challenge, I thought I'd give it a try.

Oh! And yes, it is EXACTLY 200 words. And yes, it starts and ends with the required statements. WOOT!


The Door

The door swung open. Lorelei stood, shocked. She’d spent all of her fifteen years looking for this door. Lost in the murk of her life, she had almost given up. But now she literally stood at the gateway to her dreams.



“Well, don’t just stand there. Go in.” Lorelei’s unconscious was relentless, always pushing her forward.  



“I can’t,” she said, slowly backing away from the door. She knew what awaited her on the other side. She knew about the monsters, each more horrific than the last. She knew of the anguish and pain.


She knew all of it.

“Come on, Lorelei. You know you can’t become a grown-up until you do this. You want to grow up, right? You’d prefer a future and not death? Yes?”

“Um…I guess.” Lorelei hesitated.

“I know you do! And to get there, you must go through that door.” Her unconscious stared at her, reflecting all of her hopes and desires, her fears and shame.

Lorelei dropped her gaze, unable to bear the scrutiny. “Okay, okay. I’ll go in.” She took a step forward, smacking into an invisible barrier. “What happened?”

“I guess you aren’t ready after all.”

Lorelei watched as the door swung shut.  


So, what do you think??? If you want to get in on the fun, just check out Rachel's post! I'll be back Wednesday with an update on my current fiction project. 

What are you guys up too??

38 comments:

  1. Ah man. I'm gutted that Loerelei didn't go through the door.

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  2. I'm a little confused why '...the gateway to her dreams' is full of horrible monsters, pain and anguish...

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  3. I was getting a vibe that the door led back to reality, where her real-life - with its troubles and pain - awaited, but that her 'fairy-tale' world wouldn't let her go back just yet, convinced that she wasn't ready to handle it. Don't know if that's what you were going for or not! :) ~ Nadja

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  4. Great job! Does she ever get a second chance? :)

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  5. I enjoyed reading this. I admit I'm hoping she'll get another chance...or if she'll be ready if the door opens again.

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  6. Ah, that is how it goes. We lose chances if we don't take them. Great job!

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  7. I hope she gets a second chance to pass through the door!

    Great flash fiction.

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  8. Aw, poor Lorelei. I really wanted her to make it through. ;)

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  9. Good twist in not sending her through after all. I liked it!

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  10. I liked this a lot. i was feeling good about mine but now I'm questioning myself, something I loathe. I'm #72

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  11. Well done! I will pass on the flash fiction--just can't think in short terms. Love your background--all the wordle stuff. Or did you use Tagxedo?

    Anyway, hello from the thriller group! See you 'round the Campaign!

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  12. I like one that has a sort of happy ending. Too many of these are ending badly. Poor protagonists! Good job.

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  13. Nice job! I hope she gets a second chance. I'd like to read more to see if she does.

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  14. I was immediately hooked. Nice job :) And I LOVE that picture :)

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  15. Awesome! Is this THE Lorelei? *hopes*

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  16. Very good use of the door... it became a character in your story. It was central to the story. Very original and well done.

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  17. subconscious =)
    love a good internal struggle =)

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  18. Oh I loved the beginning and was hugely disappointed when she didn't get to find out what was on the other side of that door! LOL!

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  19. I loved this. :D I like that it's all internal struggle, but it feels like there are two separate people there.

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  20. Very interesting, to have her conscience be portrayed as a character. And way to amp up the tension by not letting her through once she decided to do it!

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  21. I didn't trust that unconscious anyway! Great scene - I'm a new follower:)

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  22. That's what one gets for hesitating. Aww, I still wanted her to go through. Great piece of flash fiction. :)

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  23. The barriers we put up for ourselves. Great post.

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  24. Your writing is really smooth...I too wanted her to go through the door!! I was definitely drawn in to this! Sarah xx

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  25. Oh, poor Lorelei! She finally gets up the courage and BAM! Refused.

    Great entry :)

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  26. That's awesome! I love that her unconscious is talking to her. And that she thought she was ready until she backed away and suddenly she wasn't. That's deep. I like it!

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  27. I just loved this! Great job. For me it was my first ever flash fiction..

    http://www.doreenmcgettigan.com

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  28. First of all, I love the name Lorelei. Second, even though this was supposed to be about growing up, it really speaks to me about my writing. I've spent all this time working on my manuscript, and now the door to start querying is right in front of me. It represents all my hopes and dreams (publication), but I know there are all kinds of monsters on the other side (rejection, critics, etc.). I hope you don't mind that I co-opted your story to make it all about me. :-)

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  29. This is very cool. Love going inside the mind, reading the subconscious, you do it very well. Thankyou Christine.

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  30. Very awesome!!

    I'm a fellow campaigner from your YA group! I know I'm late with the intro, but better late than never, right? Can't wait to read more of your posts!

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  31. Love this piece. I so want to know what's past that door for her!

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Thanks for your input!